Design Methodology 2: Blog

MAY 14TH, 2021

For my first medium entry in the process of discovering a capstone project, I decided to simply talk about the fears and the excitement I have towards the concept of one strenuous yet rewarding project.

What scares you the most about capstone?

Personally, I’m scared about a lot of things regarding the capstone semesters – although nervous might be a better way to describe it. Firstly, I’m most nervous about picking a concept that I don’t care enough about. In past projects when I find myself in this scenario, I can tell that although I’m putting in all effort necessary and eventually creating an appropriate output, I find myself resenting the project/class/etc. In this capstone scenario, I’m nervous that this will happen again, and I don’t want to have to put in months and months of discovery, research, and execution just to wind up with a project that would be, in my eyes at least, a failure. That being said, I don’t think this is a likely scenario. The classes are built to help us discover our fullest potential when it comes to picking a project that not only accomplishes a goal but provides us with a platform to grow and find passion from; And I think that is where I will end up. That may be due to my own delusional optimism, but either way, it's something that has kept me worried.

I’m also concerned that I won’t live up to the potential that I know I have. In that same regard, I’m nervous that my work won’t meet the level of my classmates or the classes before me. This part is confusing for me because I often shield myself with a blissfully optimistic ego that controls a lot of how I act and create work on a surface level; But, beneath that is a feeling of not being as good. So when it comes to such a hefty project where I’ve seen students create incredible concepts, I’m left feeling nervous that I won’t be able to do the same.

What excites you the most about capstone?

What excites me about capstone basically lives in complete contrast to my last fear. Although I’m nervous that I, “won’t be good enough”, I know that if I’m able to truly push myself to my fullest potential, I could create something that I’m really proud of. The idea of that best-case scenario makes me really excited – to think that I could create something meaningful and that I take pride in.

I’m also excited for the moment that I find my final concept — before ideating applications and the bulk of the research. Those moments of realization bring me a lot of joy, knowing that I’ve got something really exciting on the road ahead of me.

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Throughout the years leading up to the capstone semesters, I’ve had a lot of fears and felt a lot of excitement about different things regarding this project; However, although this process feels intimidating, I’m excited to take it on and accomplish it. If nothing else, I want to make something great. I’m hoping that desire can push me through the hard parts.

MAY 20TH, 2021

This week we started narrowing on topic areas. As I was putting together my presentation, I realized a lot of my ideas were sad — like super sad. After the presentation, I tried to picture which concept I could actually see myself committing to, researching, and producing. Only a few stood out.

I was given the advice to sort of bucket my ideas into categories, the first of which I can just call the LGBTQ+ bucket. Since coming to college and coming out, I’ve had a struggle with my identity. Sometimes it feels like I don’t fit in the community that I so eagerly awaited to be part of. When it comes to projects then, it's often that I want to create something around this topic because of not only how much it means to me, but because of how much I want to be part of the story. All of this meaning that I have a lot of passion for queer people, stories, and rights. My first topic under this bucket is the fight for queer rights and the story of drag queens — looking at how these intersect. I think it would be really helpful for me and for a lot of people to see a really truthful telling of this story. I do, however, have one struggle with this: the story is very black and brown and, as a white person, I’m nervous about trying to tell a story that I’m not necessarily part of. It’s my community, of course, but I don’t want to seem like a white savior trying to uproot this story — I want it to be factual and truthful, telling the stories of the people that pioneered the way for everyone else.
Another idea I have under this topic is a “Guide to Coming Out”. This, in concept, would be a much more entertaining/satyrical approach — talking about the LGBTQ+ community in more of a fun light. I’m not necessarily as passionate about this, but I think it's a good idea and I would have fun doing it.

I also have topic concepts about organized religion and trauma, and on the other side of the spectrum, I have ideas like cocktails and their historical significance. It’s a little bit all over the place.

The one consistency I’m seeing through all of this is the idea of telling a story or looking back on someone or something's history. I can’t help but also think of a lot of these as books. I’m not sure why that seems like it’s the application I want to create, but I can’t take my mind off of it.

MAY 28TH, 2021

This week was basically just about narrowing down on capstone ideas. I have two ideas that I think could be really good, both as separate ideas and in some combination. At this point, it's really just about deciding what I can put my heart into for an entire year.

My ideas are: 1) a truthful history of the fight for queer rights through drag queens, and 2) a book about identity through testimonials. The second idea isn’t as specific, but I think it has plenty of potentials.

In my small group workshop and full class, I felt a sense of encouragement for the second idea. What’s tough about that realization is that I’m much more passionate about the first concept. That being said, it's really up to me. It’s not really going to matter what anyone said at this point if I’m not happy with what I’m doing 4 months from now.

What I can do, however, is possibly combine these ideas. Maybe I use testimonies as a storytelling device in my drag concept. I think that’s most likely what I’ll do.

JUNE 4TH, 2021

After receiving the first piece of feedback on my idea for capstone, it is pretty clear that I’m still a bit too broad.

When I was creating my goals around making a book about queer history and drag queens, I think I was being far too optimistic about what I could produce. My current outcomes show exactly that — they are very big picture and that's where my issues are.

From this point, I know that I really like my topic and I think I could do a lot of good with it (although not as much as I had initially written out). By specifying my audience, goals, and deliverables to possibly a story revolving around drag queens and, at the same time, addressing queer issues as they relate, I may have more success.

To specify, my current plan is to more center the story around drag queens and while addressing that history, relating it to the queer topics that existed during that time period. Hopefully, this will be direct enough to make this goal achievable.

JUNE 11TH, 2021

After thinking about my project for the week and considering my research plan, I think I’m able to narrow it down a bit more now. I kind of already addressed what this plan was in my previous entry, but I do have another question I need to answer:

What is the design problem?

I know what my problem is, and that is addressing the history of drag queens and the intersections of the fight for queer rights. The one thing I still am not sure if I’ve addressed is the design problem. It will be a book, so that's what I’ll be designing, but what do I need to accomplish with my design? I’m not in school to be a writer so, although I’ll be doing that, I really need to figure out the design solution that I’ll be achieving. Maybe it's just to design the information in an entertaining and accessible way. I have a friend that I can reach out to about that so I think that's my next step. I also want to lay out my research plan a bit more exactly, so that’s on my to-do list as well.

I’m really excited to see where this can go.

JUNE 18TH, 2021

This week I’ve been thinking about how I want to approach this project. I kind of thought I knew where this was going — and I still do to an extent, but the actual details of what I want to accomplish with this project feel like it has taken two steps backward. This is also making it difficult to know who I’m going to interview and what I’ll interview them about.

A lot of this project is going to deal with testimonials, so that is one type of interview I know I’ll need. This also means I’m going to have to get in touch with some drag queens to get their stories which is both exciting and terrifying. These will be my experts on the topic of drag.

I also want to interview the people from The Outward Archive, a site dedicated to collecting queer stories. Hopefully, I’ll be able to get some insight not only into their organization but on the way they discuss topics and go about creating interviews. This is also a secondary resource in gathering information for the historical part of my project. I think this could be my strongest resource.

July 16TH, 2021

In the past few weeks, I feel like I’ve made a lot of progress — mostly in my understanding of what my project will be and what my audience wants. I’ve done some surveying and collecting of Queens for which I will interview.

That being said, I think my project has become really well-rounded. In my discussions with my professor, I was able to better conceptualize my book as less of a research document and more of a “performance”. In the same way that a performance has an opening, an intermission, and a finale, I want to give my story structure in the way information is presented. In my survey findings, my audience described drag performances as magical, exhilarating, and eye-opening. I want my stories to do exactly the same thing. The bits of history of drag that I will be including will function as the breaking-up-points of the story.

There are two ways in which I could do this that I’ve been thinking about. Firstly, the stories could be fully not-chronological — meaning the queens would be featured in every “act” but with different parts of their stories based on the “performance” aspect of the show. Another way might be more chronological or categorical, in which the “acts” would only hold the stories of that time or that category.

Either way, I think this is really exciting progress for my project. I feel like I can envision it now in a way I wasn’t previously able to.

JULY 23, 2021

This week, I was able to think about form quite a bit. Now that I have a further understanding of what my project will be in terms of content and approach, I’ve started to challenge my physical form. I know it is some kind of physical artifact, but I think I have the ability and the responsibility to push that in every direction I can think of. After all, there’s truly no hurt in at least trying.

I think coming up with some kind of innovative way to approach my design is smart. One way I’ve been thinking about is correlated to my content strategy, which is to present my information as a “performance”. Maybe this artifact is split up into 3 artifacts for each “act”. Maybe it comes with some digital aspects as well. I think there is a lot of opportunities in exploring this, which I’m excited to do.

In the same vein of form, I’m thinking about dropping my secondary form. I don’t think it's really something that I’m excited about, nor is it something that I find necessary to the point of my project. Maybe there is an alternate secondary form that might make more sense — something with motion, interactive, etc. Point being, I have a lot of room to explore in the areas of form, so that is what I’m seeing as my next challenge.

JULY 30, 2021

This week, I moved to New York City. Though this coming semester is about exploring my new position at my internship, I’m also really excited about how it will progress my capstone project. As far as drag goes, there truly is no better place to experience and learn about it than NYC. Here, I plan to see the drag seen to the fullest extent and hopefully talk to some queens to gather content and insight.

Also, we are wrapping up this semester of research. Although I see a fairly clear direction of where this project is going, part of me feels like I’m still falling behind a bit. Whether or not that is true, I’m not sure — but I really want this project to be the best thing I’ve ever made. It's an extremely high expectation, but I’m hoping it will really push me to be my best.

AUGUST 2, 2021

This is the last week of the semester, and now that I’ve finished up my final presentation, I’m feeling good about where this process will take me. There is a lot still left to do in the next coming year, but I have a plan and it's calculated and exciting. Planning out this project, ideating, creating — it's all been a lot. It's been, at times, tedious and confusing, but it was truly all worth it because in the end, I have a project and a concept that I’m overjoyed about. I can’t wait to bring it to the finish line as I end out my college career.